The Annex A The Librarians Fansite

2x04 The Librarians And The Cost Of Education Annotated Transcript

A magical creature is taking students from a college campus, and Cassandra receives an unexpected offer

ACT ONE

Wexler University, Massachusetts

[Pep rally. Students partying, a football mascot walks across campus]
Students:
Whoo! Go, Wexler! [Cheering]
Mascot:
That's right. Mnh-mnh-mnh!
[approaches a fraternity house, lights spark and a rift opens. A giant tentacle appears from the rift, grabs the mascot and pulls him into the rift, which closes behind him]

Act Two

The Annex

Jenkins:
Do not eat anything while on campus. Do not repeat anything three times. And absolutely do not make eye contact with the gargoyles.
Eve:
This is all the magic monitoring equipment I could find. Not only are the Library rooms moving around, so is our stuff.
Ezekiel:
Seems a bit much for a missing mascot.
Jenkins:
Mnh-mnh. You can never be too careful at Wexler University. Founded by Josiah Wexler. The renowned occultist? Has anybody found the occult section of the library?
Jacob:
[Enters the Annex, covered in large cobwebs] Yeah. I got them.
Jenkins:
Ah.
Jacob:
They were mixed in with the French cookbooks. And by the way, it's infested with spiders!
Jenkins:
Ah. Well, spiders are our garden friends, Mr. Stone.
Jacob:
Jenkins, they're 3 feet long!
Jenkins:
Ah. I see. I'll order some bug spray.
Eve:
[Reading from a book] "Josiah Wexler, founded Wexler University in 1813 in eastern Massachusetts. While professing to be a small liberal arts college, he used the university to secretly collect arcane artifacts, research unspeakable oaths, hold strange and perverse rituals." Strange and perverse rituals?
Jenkins:
Mm.
Jacob:
Is that a guy with a goat head or a goat with a... guy's body?
Eve:
Not sure I want to know.
Ezekiel:
Blah, blah, blah. Super-creepy stuff.
Jenkins:
Yes, and after Wexler's explosion and death...
Jacob:
Wait... the college exploded or Wexler exploded?
Jenkins:
[Indicates a head exploding] Splat! Ugh. Well, anyway, the college's arcane past was covered up, but it is still a Bermuda Triangle of magical disturbances. Anything... anything can happen, and it's worse than the actual Bermuda Triangle. Spells gone awry, monsters, unsolved disappearances... the occasional black void.
Cassandra:
Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! I've been studying the theoretical math behind extradimensional spaces, so a black void would actually be super-interesting... To me.
Ezekiel:
Only you would be excited about going to school... even demented Hogwarts.
Cassandra:
Hey, I wish I could have gone to college, but I couldn't.
Eve:
Jenkins, we've done this before. Weird school aside, this is a missing-person investigation. How far could a guy in an otter costume possibly have gotten?
Jenkins:
Ahh.

Act Three

Wexler University

Football Field

Cheerleader (Mindy):
I hope he's dead in a ditch.
Eve:
Wow. That's extreme.
Cassandra:
Ooh.
MIndy:
Yeah, well, you know what? That's the only excuse I'll take. I mean, I can't believe Peter would just take off without... Katie! Arms up! And then right before the big game, too?
Eve:
So, Peter, your mascot, just left school?
Mindy:
Yeah. Sure. Happens all the time. Just like every other college, one in five Wexler students just disappear and transfer out in the middle of the night. The usual.
Cassandra:
Oh.
Eve:
Actually, super unusual.
Mindy:
I still don't get why Peter left, though. Oh! Maybe he found where the volleyball team ended up after that away game. All we found was a bus full of empty coats. Great prank, huh?
Cassandra:
Prank, terrifying conundrum.
Mindy:
And, you know, we didn't even have, like, a weird wart outbreak this year. You know, those warts that give you screaming nightmares?
Eve:
Also not a thing.
Mindy:
[to the other cheerleaders] Okay, and now the cheer! Five, six, seven, eight!
All Cheerleaders:
Appareat! Diabolus! Ignis!
Cassandra:
What?!
All Cheerleaders:
Appareat!
Cassandra:
I'm sorry. W-What are you cheering?
Mindy:
That's our school motto. We've been cheering it forever. And guess what. It's totally gonna psych out Michigan this weekend.
Eve:
Wexler's playing Michigan? In what, croquet?
MIndy:
No, in football. Duh! And we're gonna crush 'em! Excuse me.
Cassandra:
Jenkins was right... Wexler equals weird.
Eve:
I wonder if thinking your small liberal arts school can beat Michigan is magical delusion or just regular delusion.
All Cheerleaders:
Appareat! Diabolus! Ignis!
Eve:
Do I even want to know what they're cheering?
Cassandra:
No. You do not.

Peter The Mascot's Dorm Room

Roommate:
Yeah, he's a total Wexler freak. That mascot costume can get really smelly, you know?
Jacob:
Yeah. Have any idea where your roommate was heading that night?
[Ezekiel looks out of the window at a row of gargoyles on a building opposite]
Roommate:
With the big game this weekend, Peter was making the party rounds. Fraternities hire him to be the mascot at their party, pump up the crowd. The night he disappeared, he was supposed to go to... Omega Theta. Man, does that house have a weird history.
Jacob:
Right.
Ezekiel:
By "weird history," you mean they throw parties without beer?
Roommate:
No. Like, you need an invite to get into the house on paper. And there's all these rumors about rituals in the basement... animal sacrifices and stuff. [Ezekiel steals Peter's invite to Omega Theta] Peter heard all this from Professor Bancroft in his architecture class.
Jacob:
Professor Bancroft? Professor Roger Bancroft teaches here? Are you kidding me? Professor Bancroft is... is the authority on Colonial American architecture, man. You are so lucky! I-I-I would... I would have killed to have taken classes from... from... from... And you... you don't even care.
Ezekiel:
Nobody does, mate. But I would love to know where this Omega Theta house is.
[One of the gargoyles Ezekiel was watching is now sitting on the windowsill of the dormroom]

Outside Omega Theta House

Eve:
My experiences with frat houses are limited, but I don't think evil rituals are supposed to sound like a kegger.
Jacob:
I wouldn't be so sure. Look at the emblems on those corner braces.
Cassandra:
Intersecting circles of magic and summoning. That's 18th century occult spiritualism. That's definitely magicy.
Jacob:
We got to find the origin of this house.
Eve:
All right, I bet you anything Professor Bancroft would have something to say about these symbols. Okay, so, divide and conquer. Ezekiel, Cassandra, check out the house. Stone and I will go talk to the professor.
Ezekiel:
Admit it... You just don't want to go to a frat party.
Eve:
I really don't. Come on, Stone.
Cassandra:
Okay, so, the roommate said that we needed an invitation to get in, so what do you want to do? Do you want to sneak in the back door or... Ooh, ooh, ooh! We could pretend that we're delivering pizzas!
Ezekiel:
Or the invitation I stole off the mascot's desk. He wasn't using it.
Cassandra:
I really want to lecture you on the morality of stealing from a missing person, but I know that you won't listen, so...
Ezekiel:
Not listening now.
Cassandra:
Wait.
Woman's Voice:
Stupid shrubbery. [the woman (Lucy) appears from behind a bush, she's carrying a monitoring device] Oh. Hi, there.
Cassandra:
What are you doing in the bushes?
Lucy:
It's where the best reading is coming from. Who are you guys? Wait. Are you hunting magic, too? This is so awesome! I put the call out online, but I didn't think anyone would actually show. I'm Lucy. LuckyLucy713?
Cassandra:
Okay, um, back up to where you were talking about hunting magic.
Lucy:
Well, that's why you're here, right? You're not students, are you?
Ezekiel:
Uh, well... uh, uh, I could be.
Cassandra:
Me too... grad student. Maybe.
Lucy:
Everyone knows Wexler's an odd place. I started looking into it. After the mascot disappeared, I told my magic group online I was going to investigate. They're super-cool on the Lake Forum. Just women who really want to understand magic... not dabblers. But if you aren't from my forum, who are you?
Ezekiel:
We are... campus security. We're just here checking the place out. So, sorry you wasted your time. But, you know, at least you have a good story for your forum.
Cassandra:
Just out of curiosity, though, why were you hunting magic at this particular frat house?
Lucy:
Because of this. These are readings from my equipment at the science lab, where I'm building my particle accelerator. The last couple of days, it's been registering strange power surges. I traced the last one here around the time the mascot disappeared.
Cassandra:
Right, well, a power surge alone isn't necessarily an indicator of magic, so...
Lucy:
But with readings like these, this building should have been leveled. But it's still standing.
Cassandra:
Okay, that is... harder to... argue with. Um, why don't you leave this to the professionals, let us do our... campus security thing, and you go... do college stuff.
[Cassandra and Ezekiel leave Lucy]
Ezekiel:
There are magic hunters now.
Cassandra:
Ones that know what they're doing, too.
Ezekiel:
Hm.
[Ezekiel knocks on the door of Omega Theta House]
Student (Justin):
Invitations? [reads the invite Ezekiel stole] Ooh. Invitations are non-transferable, bro. I got to keep out the riffraff.
Ezekiel:
Riffraff?!
Cassandra:
Riffraff?!
Ezekiel:
Riffraff? Mate? I'll have you know I'm...
Lucy:
With me! Hey, Justin.
Justin:
Oh, hey, Lucy. Uh, really? They're with you?
Lucy:
Sure! He's... an exchange student, and she's a grad student. Yeah. Come on, guys.
[Ezekiel, Cassandra and Lucy enter the house]

Professor Bancroft's Classroom

Jacob:
All right, there he is. Okay, now, listen. Professor Bancroft's analysis is radically aggressive. Okay, he's... he's a brutal academic.
Eve:
Ooh! Then I'll be on my guard.
Jacob:
Yes. Uh, excuse me, sir. Professor Bancroft?
Bancroft:
Yes.
Jacob:
Uh, yeah... Uh, we... uh... Can I just start by saying what a huge fan I am?
Bancroft:
Hmm?
Jacob:
Seriously. Your analysis on how the American residential dwellings changed during the 18th century... just... I mean, mind-blowing.
Bancroft:
That was so long ago, I'm surprised you found it.
Jacob:
Well, I, uh, actually wrote a small critique off of it. Uh, Oliver Thompson.
Bancroft:
That's you?
Jacob:
That's me.
Bancroft:
I believe I read it. Yeah, that was a delightful little spin on my groundbreaking work.
Jacob:
Thank you. I-I-I-I was... I was just, you know... I went off of what you were doing, so it was very...
Eve:
We hear you've been lecturing on the architecture here on the campus.
Bancroft:
I have. I managed to acquire the original plans for the buildings. They show some fascinating design and materials.
Jacob:
Specifically, we... we were gonna... we were wondering about the Omega Theta house and the occult history.
Bancroft:
Ohh. You're one of those.
Eve:
One of who?
Bancroft:
One of those people who believe all the nonsense about Wexler. Listen, I hate to burst your bubble of delusion, but magic does not exist. It doesn't exist in architecture, it certainly does not exist here. There is no such thing as magic.

Omega Theta House

Ezekiel:
Ah! Spoke to one of the brothers. Said they hired a mascot, but he never showed. And then he asked me about getting his deposit back.
Lucy:
That's cold.
Ezekiel:
Yeah. I thought so, too, so I stole his watch. If I had known this much wealth was gonna be on display at college, I would have bought into higher education a lot sooner.
Cassandra:
Okay, well, while you were doing all of this, did you happen to find any evidence of a power surge or a missing mascot?
Ezekiel:
Well, I haven't checked upstairs. Gonna guess that these rich frat brothers keep their electronics out in the open. [The gargoyle is sitting on the stairs behind Ezekiel]
Cassandra:
Go! Go! Go!
Lucy:
Do you know what we're looking for?
Cassandra:
There isn't a we. There is just me. And my... friend. And I am in no way saying that magic exists.
Lucy:
It's so great that you have a team to work with. I would love that. Or do you call yourselves a squad?
Cassandra:
No. No, we don't. Just, shouldn't you be doing your studies or something instead of wasting your time with hunting magic?
Lucy:
Oh, my studies are fine. I read every textbook from cover to cover before the semester started.
Cassandra:
Well, there's plenty more to college than that. There's pep rallies and parties and... college things! Don't underestimate it. Not everyone gets that experience.
Lucy:
It's fun, but I've always noticed things. Like the power surges on my particle accelerator equipment or how Witten's M-theory implies more than the standard 11-dimensional supergravity solutions.
Cassandra:
Wait. You... You read Witten's M-Theory? I mean, there are like 10 people in the world that understand that.
Lucy:
11 now. But once I notice something, I can't ignore it anymore. I have to find out everything I can about it.
Cassandra:
Like... like with magic?
Lucy:
So you're saying magic exists?
Cassandra:
Well... Ooh! [student spills his drink on her]
Student:
Oh. I'm sorry.
Cassandra:
Hey!
Student:
My bad.
Cassandra:
Ew. Well, that's sticky.
Student:
[walking off towards the basement] Yeah, one of these rooms, for sure.
Lucy:
Look.
Student:
Yo, man. Come on.
Cassandra:
That must be the basement. Oh. Oh! Yes, everything is sticky now.
Lucy:
Weren't there rumors of rituals in the basement?
Cassandra:
You're right. Come on. Let's go.
Lucy:
Us?
Cassandra:
Yeah.
Lucy:
Wait. Shouldn't we call for backup?
Cassandra:
No. I got this. I'm a Librarian.
Lucy:
A what?

Professor Bancroft's Classroom

Bancroft:
That's just not true!
Jacob:
I-I-I... Unbelievable. You're... You're denying the existence of Stonehenge?
Bancroft:
No, I am denying the havey-cavey woo-woo people ascribe to what is essentially a giant calendar, you conspiracy theorist dilettante!
Jacob:
The... I'm... Dilettante? Dilettante?!
Eve:
Dilettante? Isn't this where you smack him with a glove?

Omega Theta House

[Ezekiel joins Cassandra and Lucy in the basement, where they're hiding and listening to the fraternity chanting in Latin]
Ezekiel:
Did you know the fraternity brothers have real diamonds on their rings? It's like...
Cassandra:
Shh!
Student:
We invoke the old ones. We invoke our makers.
Cassandra:
[Examining the walls of the basement] That's so weird. It's like the walls are made of some sort of onyx. The entire basement's lined with it.
Student:
We invoke our gods... the gods... of beer pong! [take off their hooded robes and start playing beer pong] All right! Here we go. Let's go!
[Ezekiel, Cassandra and Lucy turn around to leave the basement and are startled to find the gargoyle has appeared behind them]

Professor Bancroft's Classroom

Jacob:
Let me explain something to you, okay? Just because you have a dozen degrees doesn't mean you know anything!
Bancroft:
Those dozen degrees mean that I have studied things that you never dreamed back on the farm.
[Power surges behind Bancroft]
Eve:
Guys?
Bancroft:
I am Roger Bancroft, distinguished professor... B.A., M.A., C.Phil, Ph.D. If you lived a hundred lives, your pea brain...
[A rift opens behind Bancroft and a tentacle appears from it]
Eve:
Guys?!
Bancroft:
...would never be able to absorb what I know. And I know that your question about magic is the stupidest thing I've ever heard!
[The giant tentacle grabs Bancroft and pulls him into the rift before it closes again]
Jacob:
What was that?
Eve:
A tentacle monster. A...big one.

Act Four

The Annex

Jenkins:
So, we have a tentacle monster, no mascot, college student probing the mysteries of magic. And what did I tell you about looking the gargoyles in the eye? [The gargoyle (aka Stumpy) that has been following Ezekiel has followed him back to the Annex and is sitting on the table] It's like feeding a stray dog. You'll never get rid of it now.
Ezekiel:
Don't talk that way in front of Stumpy, Jenkins!
Eve:
Can we please focus on the tentacle monster that ate the mascot and the professor?
Cassandra:
We don't know that they were eaten. Technically, they were just taken through a rift in space that appeared suddenly... as they do.
Jenkins:
That, paired with the power surge you say Miss Lyon tracked, implies a classic summoned creature from an alternate dimension... possibly Lovecraftian.
Jacob:
Lovecraft. H.P. Lovecraft?
Jenkins:
Lovely lyrical name, isn't it? For such a troubled mind. He based his fictional Miskatonic University on Wexler.
Jacob:
Well, that would have been nice to know before a tentacle monster appeared in front of us.
Ezekiel:
So, we find out what dimension they're in, and we bring them back. Easy-peasy.
Jenkins:
No, sorry. Not easy-peasy. Once through to an alternate dimension, the chances of return... microscopic. Plus, probably, they've been eaten.
Cassandra:
What?!
Jenkins:
Sorry.
Eve:
Then we shut down the dimensional rift before anyone else gets grabbed.
Cassandra:
Okay, but if the creature was summoned, that means someone was summoning it.
Jenkins:
Yes. And summoned creatures do not attack at random. They have specific targets.
Eve:
So we find out why the professor and the mascot were targeted. What did they have in common?
Jacob:
Peter was in Bancroft's class. They were studying the history of the college. Could be a link there. Plus, other students could be in danger.
Cassandra:
And the frat house... it had a weird foundation, right? It was like a black stone.
Jacob:
That is definitely in Bancroft's research. I'm hitting the college.
Ezekiel:
And I'll go rifle through his office. Stumpy. Stay. Good boy!

Act Five

Wexler University

[Jacob is in Bancroft's classroom reading his research]
Jacob:
He can't be serious, thinking this is Dutch Colonial. Freakin' windbag.
Student (Mindy the cheerleader):
Hi.
Jacob:
Hi. Hi.
Mindy:
Where's Professor Bancroft?
Jacob:
Uh... Professor Bancroft is not here. And, uh, he won't be... for a while.
Mindy:
That's not surprising. Like every other college, one in five of our professors just moves or transfers out in the middle of the night... never to be seen again. So, are you the guest lecturer?
Jacob:
Oh. Uh... I am. I'm just... that's what I was doing here, was trying to figure out where he left off. Now, you wouldn't happen to know what he was teaching?
Mindy:
Yeah... architectural history of Wexler.
Jacob:
Ohh!
Mindy:
Yeah, he found the school's original plans, too. They're right here.
Jacob:
Building materials. Omega Theta house is on a foundation of rare black stone from the Pacific Ocean.
Mindy:
Bancroft said that was a coincidence.
Jacob:
Yeah, well, more proof Bancroft doesn't know jack.
Mindy:
What?
Jacob:
The building materials in the foundation... I mean, you'd have to change the whole architectural design. Class project. Yeah? Foundation strength. Okay, excuse me... What was your name?
Mindy:
Mindy.
Jacob:
Mindy, can you help me pass these out real quick?
MIndy:
Yeah.
Jacob:
Thank you so much. All right, so, take one and pass them down, give them to your friends. For you guys, okay. I'm assuming you guys know how to compute it. Okay, now, what we're looking for is nonstandard values. All right, primarily low Poisson ratio and... and uniaxial compression strength. You got to look at the base for stuff like that. You got to get deep into it.
Mindy:
Oh! I have one.
Jacob:
Okay, let's start with you. What do you got?
Mindy:
This building.
Jacob:
This building here? Yeah.
Mindy:
The Architecture Building.
Jacob:
Architecture Building. That is right. And we know Omega Theta.
Student One:
Classics Building.
Jacob:
Classics Building. Show me.
Student One:
Right there.
Jacob:
Nice, Bubba. That one will work. Classics Building. All right. That's now the Science Building. And the gym.
[Jacob has marked all the buildings on a map of the university and connected them]
Mindy:
A circle?
Jacob:
Nope. A summoning circle. Magic symbology carved right into the design of the college itself.

University Grounds

[Cassandra, Eve and Lucy are scanning for magic]
Lucy:
The power surges... I registered the power surge when the mascot disappeared, but I also registered much smaller surges at the science lab and the gym. I'd bet anything there were surges at the Classics and Architecture buildings, too.
Cassandra:
The circle is like a circuit. To activate it, magic needs to be feeding into one of the points.
Eve:
So we split up and investigate the buildings. We've already seen the architecture hall and the frat house.
Cassandra:
Okay, Lucy and I will take the science lab...
Eve:
Hold on. Lucy, you've been a real big help, but I think it's time for us to take over.
Cassandra:
Wait. She followed the clues to the frat house by herself, and she's got some really cool equipment that we could use. So... what's it hurt?
Eve:
Okay. I'll take the Classics, and I'm texting Ezekiel to check out the gym. Okay, and Stone will be along after class.

Bancroft's Classroom

Jacob:
Capability Brown really changed the game. Okay? Because...? Because he was the first to emphasize naturalism. Okay? First to emphasize naturalism. He made the buildings part of the landscape, all right? Instead of just something that was sitting on top of it. Because after all... architecture is art... that we live in. Huh? All right, write that down, guys. Write that down. Okay.

University Grounds

[Lucy and Cassandra are examining architecture]
Lucy:
It's got the emblem.
Cassandra:
Yeah, and there's a constant surge coming from the building, but no evidence of magical activity.
Lucy:
Well, to be fair, that could be the ghost-containment system we have in the basement.
Cassandra:
I know you're kidding, but just tell me that you're kidding.
Lucy:
I'm kidding. I kind of wish there was, though. At least that would explain everything. Well, maybe the trip's not an entire bust. Want to see my particle accelerator?
CAssandra:
Hells to the yeah! Do people still say that? People probably don't still say that.

Science Building

Lucy:
We each have our own space to work, to think, and Fridays, we order sushi.
Cassandra:
Oh! Oh, wow! If I had this, I would... I would never leave.
Lucy:
You know how magic works.
Cassandra:
Yeah. Okay.
Lucy:
Come on. Now, take a look. Particle accelerator.
Cassandra:
Shouldn't it be, like, a mile bigger?
Lucy:
The real one will be bigger, but not much bigger. I'm working on a non-scaling fixed-field alternating gradient design. But it's a working model. Watch. [switches the accelerator on]
Cassandra:
Electromagnets. They can't move particles fast enough at this size.
Lucy:
That's the weird thing. I built it using some new theoretical equations I've been working on, and I'm not sure how, but... ...the particles accelerate faster than I even imagined.
Cassandra:
That's not possible.
Lucy:
Well, let me get you the full data. It's amazing.
Cassandra:
Okay. [Using her vision skills to analyze the data and sees that Lucy has created a large circle] These results would need 100 yards of track, which means... the circle's bigger than it looks. Oh, Lucy, what have you done?

Act Six

Wexler Science Building

Lucy's Lab
Lucy:
I didn't mean to. I swear. I didn't know it was magic.
Cassandra:
It's okay.
Jenkins:
I would strongly but respectfully disagree that it is okay. That is why we have the Library... to keep magic out of untried hands.
Eve:
Okay, let's just stay focused. Lucy, what precisely did you do?
Lucy:
I...I don't know. The equations just came to me.
Cassandra:
It's a variation on a compression spell. Essentially, she built the particle accelerator in a compressed pocket of space.
Eve:
And, by using magic at this spot, activated the summoning circle.
Lucy:
Oh, God! I killed two people!
Cassandra:
We don't know that they're dead. They were just... taken.
Jenkins:
Well, I do hope this serves as a lesson to keep your curiosity in check, young lady.
Eve:
Jenkins!
Jenkins:
Colonel, if she had not been tinkering with magic, she wouldn't have had the imagination to even stumble upon her new equations for the particle accelerator.
Cassandra:
Okay, well, then I guess it's our fault, too. 'Cause all the Library does is lock up magic and try to tell people that it doesn't exist, when we could be a place where people like Lucy can come for answers and knowledge and... and training.
Eve:
That's not what the Library does.
Jenkins:
Yes. Thank you, Colonel.
Eve:
You're not right, either! Magic is out there! More and more regular people are coming into contact with it. We can't just keep boxing it up and pretending it's swamp gas. We have to come up with a strategy for dealing with it.
Lucy:
So how do we deal with it?
Eve:
We'll deal with it. It's our responsibility.
Lucy:
But it's my fault. So I need to know how I can fix it. Do any of you besides Cassandra know particle physics?
Jenkins:
And what exactly do you know about summoning circles?
Eve:
Which is why we need to work together. Right now, we need Lucy. She created the device.
Cassandra:
Okay, look, if we take the magic out of the accelerator, will that deactivate the circle?
Jenkins:
It will de-power it but not close it. For that, we need a ritual, and the ritual requires we know specifically what creature was summoned.
Eve:
Okay, you work on that. Cassandra and I will keep working on the particle accelerator with Lucy.
Jenkins:
Be careful, Colonel. Magic in untried hands..."They're baaaack!"

The Annex

Jacob:
I got nothin', man. I got... I... or I got too much. There's too many circles in this symbology text.
Jenkins:
Lovecraft's original notes are not very illuminating, either.
Ezekiel:
There can't be that many alternate dimensions to research.
Jenkins:
Well, multiply a million by a million, and you wouldn't even be close. And what are you doing?
Ezekiel:
Research... just not old-person style. I'm running an image search on the emblem. That's actually pretty smart. Right, Stumpy? [mimicking Stumpy the gargoyle] "Oh, yes, Ezekiel. That's very smart. Smarter than Jenkins or Stone could ever be."
Jacob:
Yeah. Keep talking, man. Bancroft was saying something sort of like that right when he got eaten!
Jenkins:
What did you say?
Ezekiel:
Oh, Stumpy said it.
Jenkins:
Not... Not you. Mr. Stone.
Jacob:
What?
Jenkins:
You said that Bancroft was saying that he was better than you before he...
Jacob:
Yeah.
Jenkins:
Would you call him arrogant, boastful, egotistical?
Jacob:
I'd call him a prick.
Jenkins:
And the mascot... Wexler's biggest fan, full of pride?
Ezekiel:
Delusional with it, supposedly.
Jenkins:
Right. [searches through a book and finds a drawing of a tentacle monster] The monster is a Hybristic.
Jacob:
No, no, man, that's not... I didn't see that. I saw one tentacle come out.
Jenkins:
Well, that's a good thing, because seeing the entire beast has been known to drive men mad. The Hybristic was summoned in ancient times to quell those who thought of overthrowing their masters. It is attracted by overt displays of pride, hubris, ego. It appears when such ego is on display... and devours it.

Lucy's Laboratory

Lucy:
First things first... we should turn the power off. Colonel, please throw those three breakers... red, blue, red.
Cassandra:
We're gonna figure this out.
Lucy:
Oh, I know... because I'm going to solve it. I'm Lucy Lyon, and I will solve it. That should... do it.
Cassandra:
But it didn't. It's still on. It's like it's being powered by something we can't see. It's the dimensional rift. Now that it's been torn open, it's stronger. It's a feedback loop.
The... The accelerator keeps the rift open, and the rift powers the weird physics of the accelerator.
Lucy:
We turn it up.
Cassandra:
Turn it up?
Eve:
I vote against that! Let's call Jenkins.
Lucy:
No, we speed it up so fast that there's no charge differential. It'll be like turning an alternating current into a direct current.
Cassandra:
Okay, but with no charge differential, the magnets will stop being fed. But... But by drawing more power from the rift, we run the risk of punching a permanent hole between two worlds.
Eve:
Wow. That is a whole lot of bad crammed into one small sentence.
Lucy:
No, it'll work, and it'll be epic.
Cassandra:
Lucy? You need to think about this. Even if we don't punch a hole, we'll release so much radiation that we'll have to vent into the atmosphere.
Lucy:
Why are you trying to stop me?!
Cassandra:
Because you are doing magic, and... and you don't understand how dangerous it is.
Lucy:
Maybe I do understand it. After all, I actually did magic.
Eve:
Maybe we should calm down, go outside, sit in on a drum circle.
Cassandra:
A drum circle?
Eve:
I don't know! I went to a military academy!
Lucy:
No! I'm going to solve this... save the whole freakin' school. I've got the math, the science. I even have the magic. I'm going to win a Nobel Prize one day, so I can do this!
[A rift opens behind Lucy and a tentacle appears, grabs her and pulls her into the rift]
Cassandra:
Lucy?! No! No! No! Baird!
Eve:
Lucy!
[The rift closes]

Act Seven

The Annex

[Eve and Cassandra arrive through the back door]
Cassandra:
We have to get her back.
Jacob:
Get who back?
Eve:
Lucy. She was taken by the monster.
Ezekiel:
Lucy was taken?
[In Jenkins's Laboratory]
Cassandra:
We activate the rift, and then we go in, and we get her.
Eve:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Nobody is going into a dimensional rift.
Cassandra:
Are you using these?
Jenkins:
No.
Cassandra:
Okay.
Jenkins:
One problem with opening the rift right now. The pep rally... it's being held in the gym. It's one of the spots on the map.
Eve:
What does that mean?
Jenkins:
Well, we identified the monster. It's attracted to overt displays of ego.
Eve:
All those college kids thinking their team can beat Michigan? It'll be a feast.
Jenkins:
It would be the height of folly to open the rift right now. We need to close it and close it for good.
Eve:
Can you close it?
Jenkins:
We found a ritual. It involves sage...
Cassandra:
Nope.
Jenkins:
It is the responsible thing to do.
Cassandra:
I don't care.
[Leaves the lab and returns to the card catalog room]
Jacob:
This distance is different than all the rest of them.
Eve:
Cassandra, if we open the rift, we endanger the entire school. Look, I know you want to find Lucy, but we can't risk the safety of all those students.
Cassandra:
And I said, "No." I'm sorry, but you don't get to make this call. You want to know the most important thing I've learned being a Librarian? Is that there's a difference between doing what's best and doing what's right. Now, I did what was best once, and... I was wrong. So this time, I want to do what I know is right. Eve, I'm a Librarian. And we're gonna go after Lucy.
Jacob:
I'm with you.
Ezekiel:
Yeah. Like you're gonna get in trouble without me.
Eve:
Well, then... we need a plan.
Cassandra:
Okay. So, Lucy said she could detect energy surges every time the monster appeared... these five places. So those are all potential access points. So we summon the monster, and in theory, I should be able to use the accelerator to punch a hole into its home dimension. And then we go get her.
Eve:
Okay, so, how do we summon a monster that feeds on... ego?
[The all turn to look at Ezekiel]
Ezekiel:
What?

Wexler University

[Jacob and Ezekiel are driving round campus in a golf cart. Eve and Cassandra are in Lucy's lab]
Ezekiel:
If I am going to be bait, why are we in a golf cart and not, say, a Ferrari?
Jacob:
Because we got to get close, all right? Baird, you in place?
Eve:
Yeah. Wait for my word.
Cassandra:
Okay. That's the last one. By placing these in a circle, I've created a magnetic field at the weakest point of the dimensional barrier. Stone will use the spectrometer to get the energy signature from the monster when it appears, and I'll use that to dial into the right dimension. As long as they can keep the monster appearing, the rift should stay open, and they'll distract the monster long enough.
Eve:
And I can come back with Lucy.
Cassandra:
No. I can.
Eve:
What? No. I should be the one to go through.
Cassandra:
Baird, I need you here to do what Stone and Ezekiel can't do... what I can't do. If I don't come back, I need you to push the accelerator into the rift. It'll stop the feedback loop.
Eve:
If I throw it in, you can't get back.
Cassandra:
Eve, you're the Guardian. And you're the only person I trust to make the right call.
Eve:
You really are a Librarian.
Cassandra:
Yep.
Eve:
We're in position.
Jacob:
All right. Go. Do... Do your thing. Do the... do the stuff. Talk about yourself, man. 'Ezekiel Jones!' Talk about... Talk about yourself!
Ezekiel:
It's not like I try to be egotistical!
Jacob:
Right! Right! Just like... you don't try to be the best thief.
Ezekiel:
Exactly.
Jacob:
Right.
Ezekiel:
I just am. Do you know what it takes to break into Fort Knox? I don't, and I've done it. It's all natural talent. I am just that awesome.
[A rift opens in front of them]
Jacob:
It's starting!
[Tentacle appears from the rift. Jacob drives quickly away]
Ezekiel:
Go, go, go, go, go!
Eve:
Okay, thanks, Stone.
Ezekiel:
You could thank me, too!
Eve:
Whatever you do, keep it away from the gymnasium. You sure about this?
Cassandra:
No. Just make sure the monster doesn't get the kids or Ezekiel or Stone. And you do what you have to do. Promise me.
Eve:
I promise. Find Lucy.
[Cassandra switches the particle accelerator on and a rift opens in the lab. She goes through it]

Act Eight

Rift dimension - a meadow surrounded by trees.

Cassandra:
Lucy? Hello?

Wexler University

Jacob:
Baird!
eve:
She's through.
Ezekiel:
I'm just that awesome! [Hybristic tries to attack them]
Jacob:
All right, good. Tell her she better be quick, 'cause once that pep rally starts, not even Jones' ego is gonna be able to keep that gym full of kids safe.
Ezekiel:
Uh, I'm a fantastic dresser. I mean, I dress better than any of you. I'm a great dancer. And this hair? I don't even do anything with it. It just...
[Hybristic suddenly disappears]
Jacob:
What's it doing? What's going on? What's going on? It's going away!
Ezekiel:
I don't know, I...
Jacob:
Keep going. You're awesome, you're awesome, you're awesome.
Ezekiel:
Even I run out of awesome things to say about myself.
Jacob:
Thief. Thief.
Ezekiel:
My modesty is one of my strong points.
Jacob:
Oh, my God! You could be the greatest of all time, Ezekiel Jones.
Ezekiel:
Yeah. Yeah, ever.
Jacob:
You might even be able to take me in a fight.
Ezekiel:
Yeah! I never thought of that. But I absolutely could, right? Yeah, yeah, I mean, I've got a pretty strong right that's pretty mean.
Jacob:
Well, let's figure out how that happen...
[Hybristic reappears and starts to chase them again]
Ezekiel:
I-I know I'm cute. I'm really cute!
Jacob:
Cute... Yeah. Listen, you're on the right track. I think even... even... even Baird might have something for you.
Ezekiel:
You know, I always thought... [Hybristic attacks them again] Yaah! It's him!
[Ezekiel and Jacob drive past Stumpy, who whimpers]

In The Rift Dimension

[Cassandra is searching in the trees]
Cassandra:
Lucy? Is that you? Lucy?! Lucy!
[Lucy appears and pulls Cassandra down into hiding]
Lucy:
Shh! The smaller one brings back food for its mate... an offering. We're on her hunting grounds.
Cassandra:
No mascot? No professor?
Lucy:
Not anymore.
Cassandra:
Okay. I didn't come through space and time to get eaten today. Let's go. Go!

Wexler University

Ezekiel:
I'm likely a better singer than you.
Jacob:
What?! Watch out!
[Hybristic almost catches them. The golf cart stops and Ezekiel discovers Stumpy in the back seat]
Ezekiel:
Stumpy! What are you doing?! [Stumpy suddenly attacks the Hybristic] Stumpy! No! Stumpy!

Rift Dimension

[Cassandra and Lucy running through the meadow towards the rift, being chased by the Hybristic. Lucy enters the rift, but Cassandra falls. The Hybristic is about to attack her when time stops and a woman dressed in white appears at her side]
Lady Of The Lake:
Don't worry. I've got you.
[Cassandra finds herself floating in a lake, wearing a dress. Three women appear in front of her]
Cassandra:
In between... space and time. Who are you?
Lady Of The Lake:
Just people... women... chosen, like you. We've been waiting for you for a very long time. When you learned to walk between worlds, you proved ready to take your place in our circle.
Cassandra:
Your circle?
Lady Of The Lake:
Science and magic. Long ago, we of the Lake realized those two practices would eventually become one.
Cassandra:
The Lake. The Lake Forum online. You're looking for people who truly understand magic.
Lady Of The Lake:
And now we invite you to learn with us... study... grow.
Cassandra:
Thank you. But I already have a job.
Lady Of The Lake:
If that is your wish, Cassandra Cillian. But should the tide shift, your place with us will be waiting.
[The three ladies disappear]

Wexler University, Lucy's Lab

[Lucy appears through the rift]
Eve:
Lucy! Where's Cassandra?
Lucy:
She was right behind me.
[Cassandra arrives through the rift]
Cassandra:
Throw it into the rift! Do it now!
[Eve pushes the particle accelerator into the rift and it closes]
[Outside, Ezekiel and Jacob find the broken remains of Stumpy]
Jacob:
It's gone. They did it.
Ezekiel:
Stumpy!

Act Nine

Wexler University

Cassandra:
Most people, when almost eaten by a tentacle monster, would have sworn off magic forever. But not Lucy Lyon.
Lucy:
Well, you know me. Once I know something, I can't ignore it. So I'm going to learn everything I can about magic.
Cassandra:
By giving up on school?
Lucy:
Yeah, I think it might be better if I'm somewhere I can't accidentally open up dimensional rifts.
Cassandra:
You know, school isn't the only thing you're giving up. Nothing's ever really gonna be normal again.
Lucy:
You gave up normal when you became a Librarian, and you get eaten almost every week.
Cassandra:
Yeah, but I never had normal to begin with.
Lucy:
That's not really you. This cool, kick-ass adventure Cassandra... that's who you really are. Sometimes you just have to jump. You taught me that.
Cassandra:
Thank you.
Lucy:
But don't worry. If I ever summon up another otherworldly creature, I know who to call.
Cassandra:
Bye.

The Annex

[Cassandra arrives through the back door to find Jenkins waiting for her]
Cassandra:
Hi. Did you finish your ritual? You burnt the sage and... closed the summoning circle for good?
Jenkins:
I did. What you did, however... far more dangerous.
Cassandra:
I can't convince Lucy to stay away from magic. I know you disagree with that, but... I think she's brave.
Jenkins:
This isn't about Lucy. There were three ladies. And they took you to the Lake. This is complicated. I take it it wasn't lost on you that they stopped time... like Morgan Le Fay. And that you have now garnered their attention.
Cassandra:
I got to admit... I was tempted by their offer. They're not afraid, like we are.
Jenkins:
The Library has always been prudent. Prudence is not fear.
Cassandra:
But prudence isn't working, Mr. Jenkins. Magic is getting out there. The Library can't stop it. We can't hide it anymore. The Lake... even Lucy... they're not afraid of changing times.
Jenkins:
Miss Cillian... Cassandra. You are not wrong, the world is changing. And there is a debate, older than time, about the best way to deal with magic... but the Lake... I don't know... They've always been ambitious. Now, you need to be on your guard for whatever happens next.
Cassandra:
"Whatever happens next"? Whatever happens next... please remember that I chose to stay. You know... for the first time, I feel like I'm choosing my life... instead of running after someone else's choices. I like this better.

Fade out...

Regular Cast

Guest Cast